In most cases, telling your ex one thing turns out to be the wrong move when in reality you prefer the complete opposite to materialize. Often than not, you will emerge from the situation having lost something.
Here’s a classic situation:
Jane is disappointed with John since he has been drifting away from her. As a result, she gets annoyed and ends up expressing her disappointment through a few threatening words such as:
· Let’s just break up!
· I don’t want to be your girlfriend anymore!
· I would be better off without you!
· Its better you find someone else!
In the real sense, all she wishes is that he loves her and only her. Is this familiar to you? Women, desist from doing this! In most situations, this does not result in the effect you desired and it will come to haunt you.
In fact what will be going on in John’s mind is:
· She is no longer in love with me since she wants to end the relationship right here and now!
· She is not interested or otherwise she wouldn’t be saying such things!
· She is not happy and I failed as a man!
Instead of opting to be more invested and fighting for the relationship, he withdraws more as he is under the impression that she no longer cares about him. Therefore, ladies if you want your man to be more invested in you, the first step is to ensure that what you say, do and want are consistent!
One of the most infuriating things is an individual whose actions are not aligned with their words!
This is not to say that you are desperate, needy and/or begging your ex back, but more of being more honest or direct with your true feelings and wants, and then communicating those messages in a more mature and calm manner.
When you love him, say that you love him and that you wish your relationship grows stronger and better, as usual, he will also have to put some effort in the relationship too! You can’t bear all the love in the relationship by yourself.
In such a scenario, I personally would recommend that you send an apology letter expressing your true feelings and you should not expect a response. Let him take time to figure out things by himself.
Men tend to keep away and recover when experiencing low self-esteem and ego. Offer him some personal space to regain his confidence and strength once more and as soon as he is prepared, he will get in touch with you.