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Emotionally unavailable

Relationships are fun unless you are dating (EUP) an emotionally unavailable person. In order for you to figure out whether your significant other is emotionally available or not, it’s good to define how the emotionally available individual behaves. Usually, they’re interested in your intimacy, fears and inspirations. In addition to this, they are open, honest and aren’t scared of committing.

A healthy relationship should not involve one party treading cautiously or desperately trying to decode behavior of the other party for clear messages. You don’t expect mixed reactions or broken vows. If your significant other exhibits these positive signs then you might just go ahead and put a ring on it. Otherwise, you are dealing with an EUP.

You might be attracted or dealing with an EUP without even having a clue. This is often due to sexual chemistry or maternal instinct (the desire on your part to nurture). Once you involve yourself, you get caught up in the storm of intense ups and downs. You’ll find yourself tolerating behaviors you would otherwise never put up were it your friend or kin. This relationship shows promise at first but becomes intolerable as time goes by.

Take a long, hard look at your significant other and how he/ she behaves. Is he/she capable of committing to your relationship? As you enjoy the fruits of life, you’ll come to realize that not all people you fall head over heels for are worthy candidates for you. As frustrating as it may sound, we all fall for the wrong person at times.

Here are telltale signs to warn you of an EUP: 

1. Constant tug-of-war games that flicker your intimacy – one moment you are close, then next you are withdrawn
2. Shared love – they are married or in an open relationship
3. Refusal to commit
4. Frequent change of plan and broken promises or generally unreliability
5. Lack of intimacy, no sharing of information or feelings and a feeling of being distant
6. Focus on coitus rather than a good interpersonal relationship
7. Selfishness (and narcissism to some extent) often manifested by a poor show of interest
8. Preference to virtual communication and a long distance relationship – no face to face communication
9. Sneakiness often accompanied by excuses of tiredness and too much work
10. Alcoholism, sex addiction, drug use and physical/ emotional abuse

We’ve all see our friends trapped in a relationship with EUPs; cast under a ‘love spell’. It’s not their fault. They only come to realize too late that theirs is only a relationship destined for doom. We’re subconsciously attracted to ladies or getlement who are not only hard to get but also promise to be a challenge to us. Even the EUPs themselves do n’t choose to be emotionally handicapped. Their state is often as a result of past trauma which left them afraid of commitment.

Once you experience true love, the stark reality of an EUP becomes clear. Unfortunately, it’s much easier to fathom this when you have the advantage of hindsight. Look around you. Can you identify EUP individuals? If you can, minimize your interactions with them.

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