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Getting divorced

There are many things that can make a relationship that was once very strong degenerate to a point where one partner asks for a divorce. Whatever the problem that you may having at the moment The bottom line remains that a couple may find themselves in the danger of a divorce because there is no communication, intimacy and love. The things that can lead you to this point include;

1. An affair
2. Conflict
3. Being far apart for long periods of time
4. Psychological issues or behavioral problems
5. Unmanaged addictions etc.

Anger or conflict is not somethings that should cause a rift that can’t be repaired between partners. When you have great communication and you are committed to the marriage, there is noting that you can’t overcome.
When you get to the point where one partner is asking for a divorce, it is easy to get into a corner and think that you do not have a choice but accept how things are. You have to realize that you have a choice.

You should not try to manipulate, threaten or blackmail your partner to make him/her change his mind. Instead, you should try hard to control your reaction. You still have the power to control yourself. This is the time to analyze yourself and take responsibility for your actions and feelings. Ask yourself whether there are things in your marriage that can be changed. If there are things that can be changed, take the appropriate action proactively.

There are two things that you can do when you are faced with such as situation. You can either decide to wallow in anger and pain or you can decide to become more loving and positive towards partner. You can decide to shame or blame your partner or you can decide to look at your marriage, determine where your marriage is and take steps that will make you happier and more fulfilled. Although this may be hard for some people to believe, you can be happy and fulfilled when you are in the middle of a crisis.

Even if you have a partner who is unresponsive and stubborn, you can change yourself and become a person who is positive, engaging and proactive, just the way you were when you were dating. In most cases, when a relationship is at a point of struggle, people look back and think about the good old days when it was so easy to be together.

Obviously, you have both invested a lot into your partnership. Your intention was to stay married. Positive action, good communication and a strong commitment to the relationship will definitely save your marriage. You should try to be there for him/her like you were before you turned into a workaholic. Instead of being too occupied with the kids, you should try to set aside time to be intimate with your spouse alone.

When you are finally able to communicate effectively to each other, you should try to make your partner realize the effort that a divorce entails. Remind him/her that a divorce has financial, emotional and logistical consequences. The change that will be brought about by a divorce is not something that any of you should take lightly.

You can seek the help of a third party or a mediator. You should not let your pride get in the way at this time. A trusted elder, neutral friend or professional counselor can help you two put things into perspective. Do not make mistakes that may jeopardize recovery of your marriage. Save My Marriage course has been really helpful in saving thousands of marriages. This course will definitely deliver results.

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